Silly Girl

Silly girl
Pretty girl
Angry girl with the curls

Sit upon
Spit upon
Curly girl with the magic wand

Laughed at
Taken back
Girl with the curls, move on

Just a Fool

You make me feel foolish
Words of truth behind my back
Lies spoken to my face
My heart is racing and my stomach churns
So many times I've asked you
So many times you've misled me

You make me feel foolish
Loving with reckless abandon
Lusting with cloudy eyes
My insides drop out and my ears ring
So many times like this
So many times promised it would stop

You make me feel foolish
Trusting your reassurance
Turning around with a knife in my back
My mind is cracking and my judgement is blank
So many times I've wilted
So many times I've been reborn

How many times do I sit and listen?
How many times do I listen to your lies?
How many more days must I sit with your sickness?
How many more days do I hold on?

Shaken

Sometimes I shake cold bodies
Sometimes I wake the dead
We whisper, hidden & unnoticed
Speaking silent tongues
I ask questions already answered
I shed the same ten tears
Their cold embrace sours
I throw my head back in horror
I wake & they recede

Untitled

Silent, searching for your logic
Head filled with angry choirs
You threw the bricks and ran
Needing to release the venom you pumped into my veins

Lock

Staring out the windows
Bright blue sky
Everything changing faces
I feel color blind
Cloudy eyes search landscape
Tired mind throws rocks
Searching for the key
I need to pick this lock

Gone

Oh innocence, sweet things are gone from you
Lost, they wander
Searching for their home
Pink ribbons flap in the wind
Once white dresses now dingy & brown
Ruffles tangled at the hem
Their knees scraped & bloody
Dirt caked under their nails
One shoe on, one shoe gone
Their hopeful eyes search vacant hills

I Am

I am who I am
That's all that I am

Who do I need to be to make you love me?

I do what I do
I know it is true

How must I appear for you to put me in the clear?

I speak what I speak
I'm tired of being bleak

What must I say that makes you feel this way?

I see what I see
I only want clarity

Why do I have to hide to keep you by my side?

I'm tired and I'm worn
Your love has me torn

I'm sick and I'm stressed
You won't let me rest

I've wept and I've mourned
You want to stay scorned

I've fought and I've tried
Your support has died

I've twirled and I've spun
Far from me you've run

I'm hurt and I'm sad
In your eyes I am bad

I'm defending myself against all odds
You've refused a recognition nod

Beyond my mind my body's tired
I need to start again and re-wire

This battle's left me young
I have to move on

Ritual

I wept for you, as I watched you stripped of dignity

Your flesh was ripped off to reveal a lush, beating heart

I witnessed their hands go deep in your chest and heard them remove it

Ritualistically they stomped the ground and beat their chests, they danced with your heart in their hands

Lapping at the blood and hoping to become virile, their eyes were bright in anticipation

Your cries were muddled by their whooping, your hands were rapid and pleading for an answer

In a brief moment of stillness, one looked at you in satisfaction and another took notice of his gaze

At one moment, they were on you, limbs flying and bodies angry in movement

The circle became loud and screamed obscenities in your direction, the bodies on you remained

I watched the frenzy take you over and they filled the cavity in your chest with the earth you laid on

My frame shook from the hands I held and we searched each other for an answer

The noise grew heavy as the mass disbanded, the two stayed to stand over you as they beamed in delight

You asked for water and they told you to eat dirt, one took your arm and drug you out of the center

My hands and the ones around mine tightened, tears were now falling and confusion remanined

Suddenly a moment of stark silence fell over the crowd and they paused to bow their heads

The grips arond mine loosened and sighs of relief made known, I freed a hand to wipe my face clean

My other hand was torn away from our embrace as they pulled me into the center

They tore my garments from my body and hurled them in delight, it was treated as a scarcity

The remaining wept for me as they watched me stripped of dignity

Dirt 11-17-11 & Feet 12-21-11

Dirt 11-17-11

The machines will turn
Your networks, burn
The light connections you made will succumb to black

The keys will lash
Your senses, gnash
The real connections you made will will succumb to black

Down with your comforts, your knowledge, your speed
Down with your technology that drove you to greed
Down with your progress
Down with your lies

Up with the soil to open your eyes

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Feet 12-21-11

And then the madness came back, clawing at my sanity
Etching the lucite surface of my health
Formality was long gone
Instead, blatant insanity
A long, cool thought of rage
Next came the rush of insects' chattering feet
A slew to cover my wall
I shut my eyes at the madness and thought it to plunge